Scorchio Scorpio

It was my first scorchio spring birthday and I returned to Sydney, where it had all begun three months ago, to celebrate. The day started with a visit from Mystic Sheila, who predicted I would be a 'red hot' Scorpio today. After her uncanny forecast, it was time for my present, which meant going 'over the top' for one final adventure.

I pulled on a climbing outfit and headed up the bridge, feeling sweatier than a dog on a treadmill. I also made a note to add cool climbing gear to Wonderwall, my chic new adventure label.

The climb felt easier than expected and l hopped all the way to the top, beating competitive DIY magnate Sheik Mi Tool into second place. The Sheik shook so much with incandescent rage that he fell off the bridge and missed the photocall.


My descent was equally quick and my daredevil plunge into the water was something Top Gun's Maverick could only dream about. I made it just in time to save the Goose of the sheik, who was taunting a shark with a sink plunger.

Despite admitting "it was the gutsiest thing I ever saw", the sheik was very ungrateful that his bacon had been saved, so I 'bugged out', slipped into my birthday suit, and headed for the Opera House, where l was going to see The Pirates of Penzance.

For some reason, it seemed more familiar than a priest with a choir boy, although the reason why eluded me. Fortunately, there was a rousing performance by guest star Johnny Deep, whose programme notes said he wanted to be a pirate called Captain Jack in a big Hollywood blockbuster. This didn't help much, though, as I was still wondering where I had seen him before.

After the show, it was time for a birthday beer and it slipped down like a koala on skis. Still confused, I gave up wondering about Captain Jack and contemplated doing it all over again next year.

StevieWonder
BirthdayBoy